Watch out, sportsman has a smart phone now

So yesterday I get an email from the sportsman. He says I got a new phone ( his work pays for his).
He says I'm trying to setup my email now. I'm gonna send you a text text.
Ummmm, ok.
I wasn't aware he was getting a new phone. I don't remember everything
But I would remember if he said he was getting a new freakin phone.
So I ask the sportsman, what kind did u get?
He says, a HTC. Smart phone.
Well well
All this is really no big deal.
Or
Is it.
So I get home and he's all messing with it. That's cool it's new. Prev he had a black berry.
Until he hollars down the hall at me, whats your user name. I'm thinking what the fuck do u need my user name for? Cause dude I have like 4 different email acct's and user names.
He hollars back. He's setting up words with friends. Geezum
Then I hear him taking to himself about how he's gonna add him
Some angry birds and some other stuff.
Again not a big deal. Kinda funny actually. The sportsman has never been big about technology.
He doesn't even have a FB account.
I'm
Just not so sure I want him having a smart phone.
It leads to so many other things. It's easy to get out of control.
You know. Wink wink

I'm hoping that he will put it aside and like other things not be a big deal to him. I mean seriously when we go out or when he goes to the store , he never even brings his damn phone.
It's just his excitement gave me goosebumps of what might be to come.

Maybe I'm worrying for nothing. We will see.


Peace

Well I did not die........

Well I'm back!!! Did u miss me? We're your worried, that I wasn't coming back?
Well I was.
But
Here I am.
And almost like brand new.
The horrific surgery is over.
I survived.
No need for I told you so's , from those of you who assured me I would indeed
Not die.
I pulled threw with flying colors ( whatever that means).
I was feeling good enough to participate in the warrior dash on Saturday.
Even though it was 90 plus outside that day, I did really well.
I did all the obstacles .
However it did take me an hour to complete. And a few water breaks. And well some mud.
But it's all good.
I had a great time.
As of Sunday I have never felt better.
No more stress of worrying.
No more races to worry about.
Just back to my normal routine .
I honestly have not been happier in a long time.
Now I wish I had done this three years ago.
But you can't live life on should haves
. All I can do is go from here.
Onward and upward right.
Hell yes!!!

Not sure if I'll share any warrior photos of me doing the actual course
I look like a dork jumping over the fire.
Lol
But I suppose I can share a couple of
"after " photos of the sportsman and I.

Good times.

Peace

Everything's a blur

So in the last week or so, my body's been pretty messed up. My mind never shuts off with worry. My stomach has been so jacked up. One would think I've lost ten pounds just shitting.
For real. Who shits that much?
Smells like a sewer up in here.
My nerves are totally on edge.
Originally I was worried about my First 5k, then my iron issues and cold, then the next 5k and now my up coming surgery.
I haven't been sleeping well. And when u do I dream about off the wall shit.
I'm
Tryin to pass the time and not think about things. I've already watched all my recorded dvr stuff.
I've read all my books on my kindle.
I've spent as much time as possible at the damn gym.
I don't know what else to do .
Short of turning my mind off .
Everyone says don't worry. You can do it.
Or it's a routine surgery you'll be fine.
Right . Wink wink.

Kind words aren't helping.
All I hear is blah blah blah
I'm not ready to die
Just yet.
But having lupus makes it all to real for me.

Sorry I wasn't going to talk about this
But it has completely consumed my mind.

Right now I'm
Going to try and lay down and chill.
If that's possible. Someone tell my heart it can slow down now.

Peace

Reality Check

The count down is on.
The next 5k race is this Sunday.
The surgery is this Monday.
I'm feeling better. The colds almost completely gone.
I feel awesome about running this time.
Other than the weather will be chilly.
And
The sportsman doesn't think I should run. Due to the fact that I can't have surgery if I'm sick.
I get it. But I wanna run too.
We also had a "talk" last night.
I'm
Soooooo freaking d o n e with running.
I neeed/ want to get back to lifting.
That is where my true passion is.
We have done too much damn running .
And
Not enough lifting lately.
This. Started an argument.
Words were said.
Tempers flew. Ok I became a potty mouth.
Because........
Once again our goals are different .
He is ok with how he looks. He just wants to maintain.
He doesn't care about looking better.
I
On the other hand am freakin driven. To be better.
I want to look like I work out.
Not just lean. That. Is. Not. Good enough.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
But I'm not seeing results.
Sooooo
I ask the sportsman. What do I need to do??
His reply??? Of course is blind freakin love.
He thinks I already look great.
Um, hello!!!!!
That's not what I asked .
I need to know. Do I need to change my diet? Do I need to change my workout? Is it all the running?
Geezum man. Help me out here.
His reply again, he's not a body builder
Therefore he doesn't know.
Well hell. Then freakin look it up.
I mean seriously he looks and researches everything else.
Work with me here.
Yes people he does know I'm crazy obsessed.
But he married me for good and bad.
So back to my count downs.
I had to call and make payment arrangements for my bill for surgery cause I'm not independently wealthy.
I asked the lady if I were to die during surgery does the sportsman still have to pay. I think I caught her off guard. Cause there was dead silence on the end of the line. Ha ha.

Think I was joking? Not a chance. I was dead fucking serious.

So now u know. You won't be hearing from me for a couple of days.
Well unless I do die. Then you won't hear from
Me at all. Now that's fucking funny. No?

Peace

Refocusing

I visited with a gf from my gym this am. She recently entered in the womens body building competition .
She did a kick ass job. She looks amazing.
So after my run I stopped in to chit chat with my gym "friend". To tell her just that . Everyone needs their ego stroked once in awhile.
While I was standing there, I really looked at her body. And it is amazing.
It made me decide instantly that after my last run I've got to get back to my lifting. No more runs. I feel alot more comfortable lifting weights.
So that's what I'm
Doing. Going full on. Back to lifting.
I'm more than driven to succeed.
Determined to be freakin ripped.
And
I can't do that with all the running.
Not that I look bad now. But I want to look better. More defined.
Yes I'm crazy obsessed. I know it.
You don't have to say it.

I need a cigarette

It felt so good i almost fell asleep. This is a true story people.

I never got it in movies when it showed people smoking a cigarette after sex.

I mean come on, I've had good sex and awesome orgasms before
And never felt the need to have a "smoke" after.
Besides the fact I've never smoked in my life. So I just did not see the appeal

Ok so where was I? Yes
The other morning I was in the mans room
Hangin out. Ha ha
No really it's my place to go.....
Take a break.
Ok so it wasn't a " break".
I actually was in a hurry.
Not much time in the early am to get off.
And this particular morning I really needed IT b a d !!!!

It had been awhile. Which is a damn shame.
And maybe that's why this one was do freakin good.
But it was the most intense one I've had in a long time. I worked really hard to get it.
It was so damn good that I needed a nap.
And that was when I realized why those people in the movies felt they needed a smoke after.
Now I totally freakin get it.
Is it this way for everyone?
Have I been missing out this whole time? I've been shafted some how I can feel it.
Anyone? Is this a girl thing? A guy thing?
Peace

Threesome

What does that word mean?
I found this really funny post on FB.
I'll share it with you.
But really. I hear people talk all the time about them. No I'm not talking about swinging or swingers.

I'm taking two guys and a girl.
I've thought about it alot.
And I've seriously considered it.
But
Now
I just don't know. If I could do it.
I'm pretty self conscious.
It's different to post photos of yourself but to have some one see u in person
Hmmmm not so sure about that.

And I'm so picky
I don't know if I could find two guys worthy.
Lol
I ment one guy
Cause of course the other one would be the sportsman . Duh
That would be silly. To not have the sportsman participate . Right.
Ha ha

Soooo anyways it's still something I'm considering. It's just been put on the back burner. For now.

Peace